Told you…

These spots are so effing brilliant it almost hurts to watch (but that won’t stop me). Bless the Lynx Effect.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  Pop sensation Britney Spears has been the longtime reigning queen of Twitter…until now.  On Friday afternoon Famecount.com (social media tracking company) announced that Lady Gaga has surpassed the train wreck that is Britney Spears.  Gaga reached 5,670,779 followers, beating out Britney’s 5,668,825.

The next three spots are held in this order:

1. Ashton Kutcher
2. The Ellen DeGeneres Show
3. President Barack Obama

Yep, that’s how our country feels about its Twitter.  The Pres comes in 5th.  What a world we live in.

Apparently the rumors are true.  Spielberg and LaBeouf are confirming that another installment of Indiana Jones is in the works.  This one makes numero 5 and is destined to be an even bigger piece of shit than the last one “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.

LaBeouf is saying that Spielberg had to “pitch” him on the idea and that he thinks the script is “crazy” and “really cool”.  No further info has been released yet.

I don’t know about you but I personally am going to sit this one out.  Its not worth my 8 bucks at the theatre.  Spielberg’s days are done and LaBeouf should be blacklisted from ever making another movie.  The combo sucks big time!

Not sure if I’ve already talked about this video…but it totally rules.  A friend of mine was drunk at the pool this weekend and went for a dip with his iPhone 4 in his pocket.  He’s been complaining about the damn thing since he bought it.  You’d think this is the perfect excuse to replace it with a superior device…but NO, he went out and bought another one.

I sent him this video as a reminder of what a dumbass he is.  So for all you iPhone 4 users…watch, learn, enjoy.

Over the weekend mega cute actress Hayden Panettiere was denied entry at Hollywood hot spot Villa.  Apparently, the bouncer wouldn’t let her in because…she IS NOT FUCKING 21.  I think everyone in the world knows she’s not 21 yet…well at least all the dudes know.

She had a hissy fit at the door and started screaming at him for not letting her in saying:

“Are you kidding me? I come here all the time. Why is this an issue NOW?  I turn 21 in a couple of weeks…so what the hell is your problem?”

Hayden was so much cuter when she was polite and hot.  This Hollywood sense of privilege is not a good look on her.  Chill out Hayden baby, you’ll be 21 soon enough. You’re NOT getting any younger.

Call me.

So…news is on.  Brett Favre just arrived back in Minnesota.  Anybody care?  Anybody?  Bueller…Bueller….Bueller….

Screw this guy.  I hope they drop a giant goal post on his swollen head.

Go Broncos!

What?  Football is back baby!

Now why would I go and say a thing like that?  Does it offend you?  If so, you’re an idiot who probably likes his movies.  By the way, THEY SUCK.  Well, except for Get Carter…wait, was he in that?  Ah fuck it.

I personally don’t care that Mel Gibson beats his girlfriend or is a racist asshole.  That’s his deal.  But this weekend he drove a perfectly good 2008 Maserati into a rock wall on the PCH in Malibu.  When cops questioned him he simply said “uh, I don’t know how it happened”.  Not that he has a LONG history of alcohol abuse or anything like that.  Nah, he’s a stand up citizen.

Fool me once, shame on me.  Wreck a sports car, go fuck yourself.

The mystery runs deep…or is that the “river”.  Either way, I don’t really care enough to start digging and find out why reality television star (and Playboy model) Tila Tequila was on stage recently at an Insane Clown Posse show.

Yep, that’s a fact.  She was definitely there and she definitely got attacked by the crowd.  Apparently ICP fans aren’t big on the reality tv.  From what I hear she got on stage at “Gathering of the Juggalos” in Hardin County, Illinois on Saturday and was immediately pelted by fans with rocks and beer bottles.  One of the early shots hit her in the face and cut open her eye.

You might ask “so what did she do next”?  You’d never believe me if I told you…

Ok, I’ll tell you.  Apparently the brain surgeon stripper* decided the best defense was a good offense and removed her shirt exposing her breasts to the crowd.  This however, did not work.  The attack only worsened until she ran off stage.

Idiot.

*Tila Tequila is not in fact a brain surgeon.

Snooki’s ex-boyfriend is calling her a “whore”.  I’m not sure whether or not anybody cares but…on the latest episode of The Jersey Shore a drunk Snooki called Emilio Masella (her now ex-boyfriend)  at 6 in the morning as she simultaneously groped her reality roomie Vinny Guadagnino.  Snooki then followed Vinny back to his room and asked, “Wanna f**k ?” to which he replied, “Sure.”

Classy.  Would you do the deed with Snooki?  Eww.