The NBA season opened this past Tuesday night. And the question on everyone’s mind is, ‘Can The Lakers Repeat?’ Well, what do you think? Do you think the healthy and extremely improved San Antonio Spurs can knock the Lakers from atop the Western Conference? With the addition of Richard Jefferson, and Manu, Duncan and Parker healthy, the Spurs have upgraded immensely. But so have the Lakers. With the addition of Ron Artest, the Lakers have a defensive stopper who can score when needed as well. Not to mention a healthy Andrew Bynum who is only going to get better. And never bet against any team that has Kobe Bryant. The one thing that might hurt the Lakers though is the marriage of Lamar Odom. What was he thinking? Will he be ready to play every night, or will his mind be on the fact he didn’t take out the trash before he left for the game and wifey was nagging the hell out of him? It remains to be seen.

In the East, you have the dreaded Boston Celtics who have upgraded with Rasheed Wallace and getting a healthy Kevin Garnett back is a huge boost. Orlando lost Turkolu, but they did go out and acquire Vince Carter. It remains to be seen if Carter will be an upgrade or a hindrance. Cleveland went and got Shaq. My comment. Big deal. He is still 70 lbs over his Laker playing weight and is another year older. Will he slow down Lebron or complement Lebron’s game? Shaq could not co-exist with Kobe or Duane Wade in Miami. I give Lebron and Shaq two months before Shaq tries to steal some of Lebron’s press. Lamar Odom’s marriage will last longer than Lebron and Shaq will. All in all it should be a great season.

And yes, Automated Man is picking the Lakers to repeat.

I was sitting in my courtyard with a bunch of my hot neighbor girls last night. The subject turned to tighty whities and giggles and eye rolls were universal. Guys! When you wear tighty whities we think of the kids we babysit for extra cash. Just not sexy. So let me reveal to you the opinions of girls you would love to date on seeing you almost naked. First there is the issue of body type. If you are a skinny rock star indier than thou kind of guy, we know that you were endowed with an enormous asset. That’s why we love you. You didn’t think it was your skinny jeans. Something about a guy who weighs as much as a member of the girls Chinese gymnastics team screams “I’ve got a surprise for you” to the groupie part of our brains. We know what you’ve got. Now let’s talk skivvies. You, skinny rocker do not have legs large enough around for boxer briefs to grip. And since your bisexuality is part of your appeal, we like you in low slung briefs – not white – that show off your ridiculously long torso, tiny bit of body hair and aforementioned endowment. You are the only full grown man who should wear briefs.
Next on our list were the average guys who prefer boxers under loose jeans. Here’s what the girls had to say about you. Get your hands away from your dicks. We understand that your boxers and loose pants allow your parts to float freely through the air. That’s great just as long as you can handle the freedom. If you feel the need to adjust yourself every thirty seconds maybe you are too big to be so free, if you know what I mean. If that is the case move onto our universal favorite for all men with normal to muscular legs…the boxer brief. Yes gentlemen, most shapes and sizes of men look the hottest they can possible look inboxer briefs. When you pull off your pants to reveal clean sexy dark boxer briefs our hearts truly skip a beat. And most important for you, we do not pause and wonder if we are doing the right thing. No instead we are reassured that you, Mr. Hot Guy have earned our presence in your bed.
Now if you look like a ripped Calvin Klein underwear model, you can wear whatever you want. We don’t care. We just want you naked anyway. But for the rest women prefer boxer briefs. Soon Automated Man will begin selling boxer briefs on our site. Who knows, maybe our customers will need even more condoms each month. Be that guy the girls can brag about sleeping with. Wear boxer briefs!

Check this guy out… His mom cancels his “World of Warcraft” account and the kids loses it. This also how guys react after a girl leaves that they could have had in bed, but they made one little mistake. They didn’t have Automated Man and they ran out of condoms. No glove, no love. Automated Man delivers your men’s toiletry kit plus condoms to your door!

AM is not a place for politics, as we love all our peeps: left, right or wrong. However, one thing we do detest is hypocrisy. And no one detests as much with us Jon Stewart. Hail!

Guys… delivery is a good thing. We all love getting a hot cheesy pizza at 2am. In LA, we can get beer delivered in the middle of the night by Pink Dot. Life is good! Then there’s Amazon.com, where you can buy all of the video games, books, and electronics you need. Gamestock.com, Gamefly.com, Netflix.com, and hey, Craigslist, if what you’re getting delivered is… ahem… “naughty”. Delivery is American. And that is why Automated Man is the service for you. At Automated Man, we care about you and want you to know. Yes, Automated Man is like mom and apple pie. In fact, Automated Man actually takes a lot work off of mom’s hands. Tell your mom… “I want my Automated Man”. Automated Man… It’s patriotic.

Everything Pop Kulture recently wrote a review on how Automated Man is the “finest idea of our generation”. EPK was kind enough to share how amazing Automated Man is with the rest of the world. Chuck Rocker on EPK wrote:

You know the feeling when you go to the grocery store, walk up and down every isle, pack your shopping cart full and then get home only to realize you forgot to get f@%#ing deodorant!!! It’s a major pain in the ass right? Your only options were to drive all the way back to the store, steal your roomate’s armpit-hair-covered-stick or go to work smelling like a gym sock…until NOW! Let me introduce you to finest idea of our generation: Automated Man.

If you want to know more about Automated Man and how to get your toiletries cheap and delivered to your door, just ask “What the Hell?”

On Saturday the US Men’s National Team plays one of its two remaining World Cup Qualifying matches. The match will be played in Honduras. With a win, the US can clinch a spot in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

But do you think you will be able to watch the game? Hardly. Due to antiquated TV rights and such, the Honduran Football Association granted the exclusive rights to a company called Mediapro, a Spanish company. Who then sold the US rights to a pay per view company here in the States. You cannot buy the game as an individual, unless you are willing to dole out $2000. I think I will just stick with ESPN and LSU vs. Florida. Automated Man thinks LSU will pull the upset.

As of yesterday, only 29 venues have signed up to purchase the pay per view rights. That is in the entire United States. What a travesty. I know Soccer has to compete with the Baseball Playoffs and College Football. But what the heck? Who dropped the ball? You mean to tell me that Soccer is so lowly thought of, nobody made this game watchable in the United States on either the Fox Soccer Channel or ESPN?

This is another black eye for the United States Soccer Federation. One more blunder in a long list of blunders. It is probably just as well. The way the team has been playing, maybe we don’t want to watch the game. With our luck, this will be the best game the US has played. And nobody will be able to see it. What a shame!

In much of the Middle East, deflowering your virginal bride on your wedding night is a cultural imperative. If there’s no blood on the sheets, that equals shame and disgust…and sometimes beating, exile or death.

We at Automated Man love the Autumn Season. We can slack a little on shaving and let our beards grow out. We can stay inside and play more video games because it’s getting cold. We have two great holidays coming up… Halloween and Thanksgiving. On Halloween we get to see all the girls we like (and don’t like) dressed up like sluts and possibly are up for a trick or treat. On Thanksgiving we get to EAT! Overindulge all day in home-cooked food. Then next is Christmas. Perfect time to hit your mom up to buy your toiletries for you for cheap! Help her save and help you stay clean.